If It Kills Me Read online

  Out there hiding away from it all was Professor Jeremiah Adams. He had been bitten and scratched like so many millions. But he wasn’t dead.

  All of this happened sixty years ago.

  He is still alive.

  CHAPTER TEN

  I WAKE TO the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. Grandma stands at the stove while Jake sits at the table, eager to talk to me about what he did while I was gone. He tells me about how he helped the builders by moving materials throughout the day, and how one of them gave him a hat.

  I try to stay attentive as he talks, but I can’t think about anything except for my dream last night.

  Willow, Jessi, Jeremiah…Evelyn? Was she the baby from the dream? The greyskins took over about sixty years ago. Evelyn is about sixty years old. The thought baffles me. And to think that somehow, Jeremiah is still alive and well. He had been bitten. How is he still alive? On top of that, he would have to be at least a hundred years old now, but he doesn’t look anywhere close to that age.

  Jake and Grandma ask me how things went on my trip. I leave out most of the details, but tell them that I will have a busy day checking on Christopher and Sadie, as well as helping Aaron prepare the equipment if he needs me. Also, Connor and the others should be on their way with the satellite dish.

  “It’s going to keep the greyskins away?” Jake asks.

  “Well, it will help us see them coming,” I answer. “Give us enough time to prepare for them. Maybe even stop them before they get here.”

  “Or redirect them,” Grandma says, taking the safer route.

  “True,” I say.

  I thank Grandma for the breakfast and let her know that I’ll be around the village if they need anything. She assures me that they were going to be busy helping put up the wall. Everyone in the village has been pitching in, doing everything they can to get the wall ready as soon as possible.

  When I walk out of the house, I’m startled and glad to see Evelyn outside sitting on a stump, waiting for me. Her hands are folded neatly in her lap and she smiles at me as though I was a sight for sore eyes. It’s weird.

  “I suppose you had another restless night?” she asks.

  “Was that your intention?” I say, coming within a couple of feet of her.

  “I simply wanted you to see these things for yourself. I thought telling you about it wouldn’t be the same.”

  “I’m sure it wouldn’t be.”

  “Tell me about Connor and the others,” she says.

  “They are on their way here. They made it through safely.”

  “That’s good to hear. I was disturbed by what you saw them go through.”

  My mind is still stuck on the dream. “Evelyn, was that you in my dreams?”

  “Who?”

  “The baby. Jessi’s baby.”

  “Yes,” she says. “It was.”

  I nod my head having already known the truth. It seems that every time I learn something new about the past, I feel like there is so much more to learn.

  “How is Jeremiah still alive?” I ask.

  She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “That’s a question that has a very complicated answer, I’m sure. I don’t know how the science works exactly, but I think it has to do with him getting bitten by his test subject. That man had been a Starborn. His gift of long life still flowed within him. I feel like it transferred to Jeremiah when he was bitten.”

  “That’s pretty lucky if you ask me,” I say.

  “For Jeremiah it is a blessing and a curse,” she answers back. “A blessing because he can live essentially forever. A curse because he has to live with the desires of a greyskin.”

  I stiffen at her words. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that Jeremiah is a greyskin.”

  “But that’s impossible,” I say. “He can think, he can make decisions. He has wants and desires.”

  “Oh I didn’t mean he was fully a greyskin,” she says. “He just bears the burden of rot and a desire to eat flesh.”

  The statement makes my insides go cold. That explains his appearance when I met with him in Screven then. He had been covered from head to toe in clothing, hardly exposing any of his skin. The smell of perfumes and colognes had nearly made me gag. Had he simply been covering up the smell of rot and decay?

  “After sixty years, how has he not deteriorated?” I ask, but Evelyn says nothing to this question. Her face turns sour and she just shakes her head.

  “I’ve come to talk to you about your friend that you brought to Springhill,” she says.

  “Who, Christopher?” I ask.

  “And his sister,” she says.

  “What about them?”

  “They can’t stay here.”

  I squint my eyes at Evelyn. I don’t really know where she thinks she has the authority to tell me what to do. I may have joined the Starborns against Jeremiah, but I didn’t sign up to take orders from her.

  “I suppose you’re going to tell me why?”

  “If Jeremiah learns that we have a healer, he will bring everything he’s got.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Jeremiah has spent most of his life searching for Starborns. When he found long life, he had found the Holy Grail. But it came with a price. Since that day he’s been searching for the power of a healer. He needs a healer to cure him of the disease.”

  This is all too crazy. “Could Christopher even heal that?”

  Evelyn shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. If Jeremiah thinks he can, he’ll try to get him. He’ll do anything to get him. That’s why he wanted to use you to recruit more Starborns. It had nothing to do with making you indestructible guards for the colonies. It had nothing to do with helping the colonies at all. He wanted to make you and Aaron recruitment tools so, hopefully, a healer would emerge. Then he would swoop down and snatch him.” She sighs. “So he could live forever.”

  All of this death…all of this destruction because of one man’s desire to be immortal.

  “We can’t just send them away, Evelyn. They have nowhere to go.”

  “And they’ll have nowhere to stay if they are discovered.”

  “We’ll keep them a secret.”

  “You can’t keep something like this a secret,” Evelyn said. “A Starborn with this kind of ability needs to be alone. He can’t stay in a place like this. He will never get peace and quiet. Everybody would expect him to take on their sicknesses or injuries. Can you imagine taking everyone’s pain all the time?”

  “Let him make the decision,” I say.

  “Make sure he knows what he is facing,” she answers back. “If Jeremiah finds out about him, he won’t be stopped.” She stands from the stump and turns her back to me, but stops for a moment. “Your dreams are not over. There is more for you to see.”

  I watch her walk away slowly. I don’t necessarily want there to be any more dreams. I feel like I’ve learned too much already. But it’s not just something I’d be willing to give up. The more I have these dreams, the more I’m able to understand my enemy. The more I can be prepared.

  I decide to walk to the front entrance of the village and can’t help but notice how much work has been done in so little time.

  “Spectacular, isn’t it?” a voice sounds from behind me.

  Turning, I see Austin walking slowly toward me. I can’t help but smile at the old man.

  “The elders must have really motivated the villagers to get to work,” I say.

  “Actually, it was your grandma,” he replies with a grin. “She’s very proud of you.”

  I snort at this. “Proud of what? All I’ve done is cause trouble for everyone.”

  “Trouble? Do you not remember what state we were in before you left?”

  “Is it that much different now?”

  “Sickness is still a threat. Always. Food is often scarce, but we’ve never had a wall like this one. Never had the chance to make one. The villagers’ morale is high too. It’s good to have people t
o look up to. To have hope.” He takes a step closer to me. “Despair always ends in death, but hope inspires life. Hope is our greatest ally. Hope will get us through to the end.”

  “And what’s the end?” I ask. “If we destroy the colony system and take down oppressors like Jeremiah, what is the end?”

  Austin lets out a short chuckle. “For Springhill, the end never had anything to do with Jeremiah. I know you are far removed from the Mora that left here only a couple of weeks ago, but if you remember, Jeremiah used to be our hope.”

  “Thought the elders didn’t want me to go.”

  “We didn’t. But that was for your own safety. When you left, it actually gave us hope. You should have seen the joy on the villager’s faces when the Screven guards arrived. They came with walls and food. They even tended to our sick.”

  I can’t imagine the look that I’m giving Austin right now. If my face shows anything that I feel inside, it’s horror and shock. Not that the Screven guards actually did this to them, but that I have taken all of that away from Springhill. I have come in here to kill and retake it for myself.

  “Don’t worry,” Austin says, reading my expression. “It was good for a few days, but that doesn’t change the fact that they came in and took away our rights. They instantly took your brother and grandma hostage once they found out who they were. We could see that it was a bad situation. But at the same time, we were being helped. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  I shake my head.

  “I’m saying that because of you, Screven gave us a wall, medicine, and enough food to last a long time. Food that we can store up for a while to save for even harder times. Now that we all know about Jeremiah’s intentions, we are happy to have the Starborns leading us. All of you have given us a brighter hope than we could have asked for.”

  Austin’s words mean more to me than he realizes. Or maybe he does realize it and that’s why he came to me.

  “Your parents would be very proud of you,” he says. “I know I am.”

  He’s startled when I reach out and wrap my arms around him. It has been a hard journey for all of us. My grandma used to tell me that before the greyskins, most people tried to make the world a better place before they left it. I suppose life hasn’t changed that much in sixty years. I still feel like that is my purpose. It’s just harder than it used to be. If I’ve been fitted with the abilities to make this life any easier, then it’s my duty to do so.

  Jeremiah has to be stopped. The world deserves justice. I know I’m one of the only people who even knows that he is responsible for the world going to the crapper, but that doesn’t absolve him of his guilt. He needs to be faced with it. He needs to know his reign of terror will soon be over.

  I release Austin from my hug when I hear the sound of a vehicle driving into the front entrance of the village. My heart skips when I see Connor driving with Heather in the passenger’s seat. Danny must have torn the roof of the vehicle off to fit the satellite dish into it. He’s holding it down with one arm, smiling as they drive through.

  Connor sees me and stops the SUV only a few feet away. When he gets out, I can’t help but throw my arms around him. He doesn’t know that I saw everything going on at the compound, but I can’t help but show my relief at his safe return.

  “Was it hard to get?” I ask, pretending to be oblivious to what happened there.

  Connor waves his hand in the air. “It was nothing,” he says with a smile.

  “Yeah right it was nothing,” Heather says, getting out of the SUV. “We saved this guy’s rear. If it weren’t for me and Danny, Connor would be greyskin meat.”

  Connor rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t that bad,” he says.

  Yeah it was, I think to myself. He almost gave up is life.

  To my left I see Evelyn and Aaron walking toward us. Aaron seems more interested in the satellite than how the others are doing.

  “There it is,” he says. “Looks a little banged up.”

  “Yeah, sorry about the greyskin blood,” Danny says. “This thing hits them real good.”

  “Well, I’ve got the equipment set up on the Tower roof,” Aaron says. “I’m not entirely sure it will work either.”

  “Guess there’s only one way to find out,” Heather says.

  I follow them up to the Tower. We’re met in the control room by the three elders who wanted to get a good look at what this satellite is supposed to do. By this point, Aaron and Connor have everything up and running, but we all stand in front of a blank screen, waiting, hoping something will show up. I’m not sure how any of it works, but Aaron said it’s supposed to give us a view of up to a fifty mile radius.

  As we all stand in anticipation, we hear a noise behind us that makes us all quiet for a moment. At the entrance of the Tower control room is Christopher and his sister, Sadie. Christopher walks with a limp and occasionally holds his side, but he seems much better than he did yesterday.

  Evelyn gives me a sharp look almost as if to say that they shouldn’t be in here. I disagree.

  “Come on in,” I tell them. “Grab a chair if you can find one.”

  “What’s happening in here?” Christopher asks, motioning for Sadie to sit next to him near the back of the room.

  “We’re trying to get the satellite to work,” Aaron answers without looking at him. “I don’t understand. I’m doing everything Heinrich told me to do.”

  Connor turns to Christopher and Sadie and extends a hand. “I’m Connor,” he says. The others introduce themselves as well.

  “It’s nice to meet all of you,” he says, “though I already know most of your names.”

  “So, where did you come from?” Heather asks.

  “Salem,” he answers. “Same as you.”

  Heather shakes her head. “I’ve never seen you before.”

  “Sadie and I usually keep a low profile. We don’t like to get out much.”

  Heather lifts an eyebrow and turns away from him to look back at the screen.

  Evelyn steps forward. “It’s very nice to meet you, Christopher and Sadie.”

  She extends a hand to shake. It’s an innocent move to anyone else, but I don’t like it. I know it only takes seconds for Evelyn to get too much information when she touches someone.

  I don’t move. I don’t even flinch. But with my mind, I swat her hand away just before Christopher reaches out. Evelyn looks confused at first and tries to shake his hand again, but again I slap her hand away with a thought. This time she looks at me, but my jaws are clenched and my eyes are narrow. I shake my head slightly and Evelyn looks as though she could burst in anger with the stare she gives me. But I don’t care. Christopher is new to the group. He shouldn’t be assaulted by Evelyn’s curiosity the moment he sits down.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask Christopher, finally taking my eyes away from Evelyn’s stare.

  He can obviously tell that something just happened between us, but he’s not sure how to respond so he just looks straight ahead. “Much better, thanks. This wound will hurt for a while, but I’m alive.”

  “I have some healing ointment that can speed the process,” Evelyn says.

  Christopher nods his thanks.

  “So, you’re a Starborn?” Danny asks.

  “If that’s what you call it, yes,” he says. “I’ve never really had a name for it.”

  “What can you do?” Heather asks.

  Christopher looks at me, then at Heather as if he’s not sure he’s supposed to tell.

  “I think it’s something we should all discuss later,” I blurt out.

  Christopher holds up a hand. “No, it’s all right,” he says. “That’s why I came up here. I didn’t want anyone to think there was some secretive guy and his sister creeping around your village who refuses to tell you what they can do.”

  He takes a deep breath. “I’m a healer.”

  Everyone in the room turns their heads to Christopher.

  “Seriously?” Connor asks.

  “
Yes.”

  “This is terrific news,” Austin says. Linda and Bill nod their agreement.

  “I knew you would think so,” Christopher says.

  “Now,” I interrupt, “it’s not without limitations. We can’t just have everyone coming up to him every time they are sick or injured.”

  “Why not?” Bill says. “Isn’t that why all of you are here? To help other people?”

  Christopher holds up a hand. “Mora, it’s okay.” He shakes his head at me. “I would be happy to help people in any way. I just ask that you let me get a little better before I start. I do need some strength for this ability.”

  Bill nods. “You just might be the answer to all our problems.”

  Evelyn looks at me again, and I know exactly what she is thinking. He might soon be the cause of all our problems.

  Aaron lets out an exasperated groan from the other side of the room and stands. “Right now it’s just a waiting game,” he says, walking toward me. “I don’t know if the satellite will work.”

  “Well,” Austin says, “we’ve gone this long without one.”

  Aaron looks at him with a stern face. “Seems to me like you could have used one a long time ago too.”

  No one says anything in reply. Aaron looks at Christopher. “I for one am glad to have you with us. But as far as I’m concerned, you should be using your gift only when truly needed. We can’t have people coming up to you just because they’ve got the sniffles.”

  “What about greyskin bites or scratches?” Linda asks.

  Christopher shakes his head. “If you want, I can share my story with all of you.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” I tell him.

  “I don’t mind,” he says. “I understand that for some of you it is a very personal subject, but for me it’s important to remember. I think it’s important to tell.” He nods to the blank screen on the other side of the room. “We’re just going to sit here and wait anyway aren’t we?”

  I smile at him. Looking around the room, Christopher has made me realize that I didn’t know anyone’s story except for Aaron. I realize, as I look around the room, I don’t know what event helped Danny gain his strength. I know nothing about Heather. I don’t even know anything about Evelyn’s story either. But they all know mine. Sure, it was a scary moment in my life, but I’ve never been afraid to tell it.